Too late is better than never

Good morning good friends!

This one is for all you guys who mastered the retreat and – since i finally also got my insight – especially my bad habbits. It’s also for all the helpers, ladies and gentleman who prepared the food and did all the organization.

Breathing in – breathing out!

Did you see that guy wearing a white long dress before breakfast and after teatime? At daytime he looked more colorful with his blue trousers and brown shirt. This strange guy who judged others too fast and the one who broke the rules?

Did you see that guy on the first day of the retreat who smoked his last cigarette in front of the monastery? So maybe this could be the reason why he freaked out one night because his neighbor was snoring. But at least he didn’t throw his wooden pillow through his window.

Did you see that guy who braked the rules again by talking to a woman over there? So hopefully he asked the women for some earplugs and maybe this guy will find out, it’s his snoring neighbor who cleans the toilets in the dorm every day in silence.

Did you see that guy who wasn’t meditating? When you look at him, he looks like a sand sack someone dropped on the floor. Instead of this he was painting pictures into the sand in front of him. He looked around and watched the birds flying by, the leaves of the trees going up and down in the wind, he imagines how everything breathes in and breathes out. The leaves of the trees rest at the bottom, before they move up again.

The leaves of the trees rest at the bottom, before they move up again.

The leaves of the trees rest at the bottom, before they move up again.

Did you see that guy who did not take a stone from the table after the lovings and chantings? But if that guy is honest to himself he already knows that there are not enough stones on the table at all. Maybe he was just a little bit confused about the fact: Yesterday there was no hot chocolate, what will be the surprise for today?

Lovings and chantings

Lovings and chantings

Did you see that guy who sits still on his place during the personal speeches? You almost can’t see him cheering the speeches and at the last day he showed no respect!

Of course you did not see that guy! He did not say good bye to all his good friends he met at the monastery! To all the good friends also struggled their way through!

There is no i – There is no my!

It’s really hard to write one whole paragraph without i and without my. But it’s not easy to stick to the rules and there is temptation everywhere. Anyway! I want to share my experience that helped me to get my insight.

I was walking with my girlfriend towards the main road. To catch the red bus to Ranong we headed to the Busstation in front of Suan Mokkh. After a while we saw the red bus to Ranong and we tried to stop it. Honk – Honk – and the bus passed by. So we tried to stop everything from now on and my girlfriend was able to stop a car. The young couple offered us to bring us to the bus station at their hometown, 80km away from Ranong.

The driver told us he just brought his parents to Bangkok, where they celebrate Songkran. Soon we found out that his wife has also been to Suan Mokkh and she showed us some pictures of herself doing meditation inside the temple. She also showed us some pictures of her volunteer english teacher. By some amazing coincidence the teacher on the picture was Ignazio, the one i shared the chore.

After five hours discussion the hot spring chore was still availaible. My very good friend told me to get this chore. This was a sign!

After five hours discussion the hot spring chore was still availaible. My very good friend told me to get this chore. This was a sign!

It’s funny how small this world really is. The young couple even called the bus company. Because in Songkran all the busses to Ranong were fully booked and there was no chance to get a ticket. As if it were a matter of course they wanted to drive us the last 80km to Ranong. We tried to refuse but for them it seemed to be a pleasure to help us out of our situation. They didn’t accept the offer of sharing the costs for gas. Instead of this they dropped us directly in front of the pier in Ranong.

Don’t life in the past – don’t life in the future – enjoy the present!

On the 31st of March everybody was asked: Why you want to go to Suan Mokkh? My answer was: I want to find out something about me! On the 10th of April everybody was asked about his insights. Every single story was amazing. And the guy with the white long dress – and the laundry in the corner of my dorm – turns out to be a funny bon vivant. The guy with the blue trousers who loved the word, the sand, the air and all of us – twice – was indeed right. Or do you remember the girl who broke the rules by having a book where she wrote down her thoughts about Al Pacino? I also loved the speech of the guy, who took too much food and felt so bad after he ate the whole plate. Even my snoring neighbor prepared a speech and still i am not able to stand up say: Thank you for cleaning the toilets every day!

After i found out what a big knucklehead i am, i would love to say thank you! I would love to go back to the table, take one of these stones and throw it into the lake. Thanks to all my good friends who enjoyed the present and thank you Beatrice for being the most patience person in the world.

I would love to go back to the table, take one of these stones and throw it into the lake

I would love to go back to the table, take one of these stones and throw it into the lake

Somehow this is typical for me. On a 10 day retreat… on day 11… i got my insight… and while i was thinking about all the bad habits of this guy and that guy, it figured out: I am all off this and that guys by myself. There is no i, there is no my! Too late is better than never! More than 130 people from all around the world stayed together in peace and love for more than 10 days. In addition to that, many helpers and volunteers made such a wonderful job.

Like everyone in this retreat, i try to swim against the stream. But from time to time the strong current pushes me back again. I send love and happiness to all of you. I need to practice again and again. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t life in the past – don’t life in the future – thank you to everyone.

This Speech is dedicated to my Roommate – the Gekko. Thank you for well-protecting me every day against spiders and mosquitos.

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